... I am so close, it scares me.
That was the quote that was on a t-shirt I bought on holiday once when I was a kid. In truth, I know I am not perfect - but then who is? No one I guess, yet some people, while perhaps acknowledging their own imperfections, seem unwilling to accept that others may be less than perfect. Alexander Pope said 'To err is human.' Now, he would probably say 'it's human to fuck up'. I fucked up. How? Well, trusting an 'ex' friend would go their own way, allow me to go mine, was my first mistake.
Recently, someone I had thought of as an online friend, whom I met through the Michael Sheen fan community, lets call her "M", stopped following me on twitter. I was a little hurt by this as there had been no explanation as to why, and I had always liked her and thought we got on. When asked, M claimed that they no longer followed Michael,nor his fansites or indeed any of his fans. This was quickly exposed as a lie. I asked why I was being lied to, and just got the brush off. Oh well - I thought - their loss, and moved on.
How naive I was to assume it ended there?
It has since transpired that the reason M stopped following me on twitter (and Facebook) was because of a conversation I had had on twitter with another friend, lets call her "C". Me & C get on quite well, she is a straight talking, shoot from the hip, no bullshit kinda gal, and she makes me laugh. It had been brought to my attention (by M I might add) that a fan of Michael's was getting quite gushy on twitter, claiming that she was going to marry him, editing Wikipedia to add her name instead of his girlfriends... etc etc. Borderline stalker nonsense. However, it was obvious this girl was in highschool, and me & C, both being the wrong side of 30, found this amusing. Why? Probably because after life and love has kicked you in the nuts a few times, you forget what it is like to have an all-consuming-crush at that age. Hands up - we made fun of her - but let me make this clear... IT WAS ONLY EVER BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.
We NEVER contacted the girl and tell her what we thought of her behaviour, however I do have a Direct Message sat on twitter from M saying that she had a mind to contact this girl about her tweets to Michael. She blamed 'people like her' for Michael distancing himself from his twitter fan.s I advised M not to, saying that at the end of the day, she is young and will probably be crushing on someone else in a week or two.
It seems slightly hypocritical then, that M decided to take offense on this girl's behalf and dropped me & C from her friends list. I have since that day, had a small twitter conversation with the girl in question, where she contacted me, and she agreed she was a bit over the top - we laughed about it and now we are cool.
Why did M lie to me about her reasons for dropping me as a friend? Since she dropped me & C from her friends, a few mutual acquaintances have come out of the wood work to say that she has lied to them in the past also. Glad to know I am not the only one.
As more and more of M's bullshit was revealed, C & I discussed in PRIVATE the hypocrasy of her behaviour, such as her gushing over Michael, and with other fans, and fansites (all of which she had claimed she didnt do anymore remember). This is where I fucked up. We should have had these PRIVATE discussions by DM, or on Facebook.
It seems that as well as a liar, and hypocrit, M was also a sneaky little spy. She was still looking at mine and C's twitter feeds. She saw the convos.
What did she do with that info I hear you ask? She MESSAGED MICHAEL.
I mean.... what the fuck? What kind of behaviour is that to involve a celebrity who had nothing what so ever to do with this, other than she knows both C and I are fans. She sent him copies of our tweets where we were being.. well, lets say ... less than complimentary about her.
Can I point out the obvious here. Me & C had a PRIVATE conversation about M. Now, I ask you, what the fuck has that got to do with Michael Sheen? What exactly did she hope to accomplish with this. If it hadnt made me so angry I would have laughed...
Agreed, C and I couldn't come out of this smelling of roses, but how much of tit is she making of herself? What did she want him to do - send us a tweet telling us off?
I really dont have a clue. If she was that annoyed by our convo (that she should not have been looking at in the first place) then I would have thought more if her if she had just approached us directly, instead of being so underhand and sneaky. The thing that really annoys me is by bringing Michael Sheen into this, she inevitably involves my site, because all the site's visitors know that the admin of that site is me, Madnad.
But what I say on my own private twitter feed between myself and a friend is nothing to do with Michael Sheen or the site. What I say on there is me as me, not me as admin of Michael-Sheen.co.uk. There is a definitive line between the two. Needless to say, I have now protected my tweets and so they are no longer visible to people who are borderline stalkers themselves. Just one of the stories I could tell you about M is when she tracked down a phone number to a radio station that was interviewing Michael and harassed them until they let her speak to them - needless to say, the DJ was NOT happy.
Now, bearing in mind that I have several hundred members on the site, as well as several hundred on twitter, not to mention on the site's Facebook page, MySpace and Tumblr - thats a lot of people that I could quite easily name and shame this person to.
But I wont.
Unlike M, I am better than that. I am not petty nor vindictive like she claims. I just want to get back to having fun with the non-crazy fans. But be warned, I am not Bambie either. If her harassment and deformation of my character continues - I will flame her ass all over the internet.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
The BAFTAs; or London and Back Again part 2
Continued from Part 1
As the sky started to get darker, the lights seemed to get brighter. All the other spectators were looking as anxious and excited as I was when the first limo pulled up. Men and women walked up the red carpet to the waiting horde of PAs/Assistants that seemed to be milling around the red carpet aimlessly. I had no idea who they were unfortunately, but I believe they were the technical guys, producers, writers etc.... all the guys that make the actors look and sound good.
The crowd buzzed with rumours of who was supposed to show tonight. Some said that Uma Thurman was expected, other said Dustin Hoffman would be making an appearance. There was also rumours that Meryl Streep may even show... none of them did. Well, they didnt 'do' the red carpet anyway. I have seen pictures of Uma and Dustin at the event, so they must have snook in the back way.
The first 'real' star to show up was Anna Kendrick who generously signed a lot of autographs. She was quickly followed by Sharlto Copley who was having so much fun running around signing autographs. He was just adorable, and seemed to find as much delight in signing the autographs as those lucky ones receiving them. The number of faces started coming thick and fast. Some positively sprinted up the red carpet (Quentin Tarantino, Kristen Stewart, Carey Mulligan) while others signed as many autographs as they could before being dragged off by PAs to pose for the professional press.
Roughly in order of arrival (at times it got so chaotic, that I know that there were ones I missed), after Anna and Sharlto, we had; Christoph Waltz, Matthew Goode, Quentin Tarantino, Matt Dillon, Noel Clarke, David Puttnam, Olivia Williams, Kirsten Scott Thomas, Jeremy Renner, Peter Capaldi, Joely Richardson, Vanessa Redgrave, Kristen Stewart, Tom Ford, Jason Isaacs, Aaron Johnson & Sam Taylor Wood, Nicholas Hoult, Armando Iannucci, Tahar Rahim, Jane Goldman, Terry Gilliam, David Baddiel & Morwenna Banks, Anil Kapoor, Claudia Winkleman, Colin Firth, Anne-Marie Duff, Andy Serkis, David Morrissey, Nick Frost, Jonathan Ross, Mackenzie Crook, Mark Kermode, James Corden, Kate Winslet, James Cameron, Mickey Rourke, HRH Prince William, and last Robert Pattinson.
Jamie Campbell Bower & Bonnie Wright whizzed by at some point, and so did Guy Pearce who was almost unrecognizable with a total shaven head.
Now... what you have been waiting for... some pictures!. I have picked out the best ones and excluded the ones that were too dark, or too blury, or someone managed to maneuver their head or arm in the way as the picture was taken.
As the sky started to get darker, the lights seemed to get brighter. All the other spectators were looking as anxious and excited as I was when the first limo pulled up. Men and women walked up the red carpet to the waiting horde of PAs/Assistants that seemed to be milling around the red carpet aimlessly. I had no idea who they were unfortunately, but I believe they were the technical guys, producers, writers etc.... all the guys that make the actors look and sound good.
The crowd buzzed with rumours of who was supposed to show tonight. Some said that Uma Thurman was expected, other said Dustin Hoffman would be making an appearance. There was also rumours that Meryl Streep may even show... none of them did. Well, they didnt 'do' the red carpet anyway. I have seen pictures of Uma and Dustin at the event, so they must have snook in the back way.
The first 'real' star to show up was Anna Kendrick who generously signed a lot of autographs. She was quickly followed by Sharlto Copley who was having so much fun running around signing autographs. He was just adorable, and seemed to find as much delight in signing the autographs as those lucky ones receiving them. The number of faces started coming thick and fast. Some positively sprinted up the red carpet (Quentin Tarantino, Kristen Stewart, Carey Mulligan) while others signed as many autographs as they could before being dragged off by PAs to pose for the professional press.
Roughly in order of arrival (at times it got so chaotic, that I know that there were ones I missed), after Anna and Sharlto, we had; Christoph Waltz, Matthew Goode, Quentin Tarantino, Matt Dillon, Noel Clarke, David Puttnam, Olivia Williams, Kirsten Scott Thomas, Jeremy Renner, Peter Capaldi, Joely Richardson, Vanessa Redgrave, Kristen Stewart, Tom Ford, Jason Isaacs, Aaron Johnson & Sam Taylor Wood, Nicholas Hoult, Armando Iannucci, Tahar Rahim, Jane Goldman, Terry Gilliam, David Baddiel & Morwenna Banks, Anil Kapoor, Claudia Winkleman, Colin Firth, Anne-Marie Duff, Andy Serkis, David Morrissey, Nick Frost, Jonathan Ross, Mackenzie Crook, Mark Kermode, James Corden, Kate Winslet, James Cameron, Mickey Rourke, HRH Prince William, and last Robert Pattinson.
Jamie Campbell Bower & Bonnie Wright whizzed by at some point, and so did Guy Pearce who was almost unrecognizable with a total shaven head.
Now... what you have been waiting for... some pictures!. I have picked out the best ones and excluded the ones that were too dark, or too blury, or someone managed to maneuver their head or arm in the way as the picture was taken.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
The BAFTAs; or London and Back Again - Part 1
A few months ago,when I heard the date of the BAFTAs Film awards, I decided that it would a great adventure to go and join the throng of fans on the red carpet. I know people that have done this for the TV BAFTAs but lets face it... film is more my thing.
I had no idea who would be attending when I made this decision, although of course, I was hoping that Michael Sheen would attend, as I knew he had presented an award the previous year. Shortly after, the 'long list' of nominees was released, and I could barely contain my excitement to discover his name was listed. However, disappointment abounded when the 'short list' was finally released, and his name was sadly omitted.
Oh well - the train tickets were bought, time booked off work, and the hotel reserved. I hoped that he would still attend, but never the less, there would be plenty of other actors for me to ogle.
A few days prior to the event, I discovered that the day we were due to travel to London, James Purefoy would be appearing at the Forbidden Planet on Shaftesbury Avenue, for a signing to promote his latest movie Solomon Kane.
It was an opportunity too good to miss. Mr Madnad had already expressed a desire to go to Forbidden Planet, which I hadnt objected too but wasnt quiet as excited as him, but this news made the whole idea sound far more tempting.
When we arrived there was only a small queue, so we tagged ourselves onto the end. Would you believe it - 10 mins after we joined the queue, a guy came along and stuck a camera in our faces. 'EEK!' I cried, and immediately declined the kind offer to say a few words about Solomon Kane. Mr Madnad however, was willing to give it a go.
Yes, he is the guy with the red hair.
That excitement over, we continued to await our turn to see the Purejoy (as he is known in our house).
My copy of the Official Movie companion held tightly in my sweaty little mits, I finally got to the front of the queue. I sheepishly handed it over to James, who signed it with a smile, and kindly agreed when I asked if I could take a picture. He put on his best 'smoulder', as you can see from the picture below. Ladies, I dont know what it is that he has, but it exudes off him in bucket loads. It certainly had me dumbstruck. Desperate to say something quick, and witty, I only managed to mumble a thank you and shuffled off. Naturally, the further away from Forbidden Planet, the more ideas I had. 'Oh, I should have said... ' etc etc.
We had a good browse around the book section, and manage to walk out with only 3 books - which for us, was pretty good.
We checked into the hotel and had a couple of hours taking it easy reading in our room, then went out for a walk and to grab some dinner. Our hotel was not far from Russell Square so there was plenty of restaurants around but in the end we plumped for something reasonably familiar and went with Pizza Express.
After dinner we headed to a nearby pub and stopped off for a drink. We didnt exactly paint the town red, but we had gotten up pretty early that morning, and knew that we had a long day tomorrow and so decided an early night was probably a good idea.
The hotel we had chosen was based on location, and cheapness. After the first few hours on a bed that had the thinnest mattress and was sat on floorboards that sloped upwards, and listening to the traffic that sounded like it was only a foot away, driving by the single glazed windows, I decided that it had been a bad move. At 6:30am, after a sleepless night for the both of us, we got up and dragged our tired asses down to the Theatre Royal to collect our wristbands.
We got there just before 8am and was surprised at the number of people already queuing, in fact several were in tents and sleeping bags - quite obviously having been there ALL NIGHT!!! I admit, I was concerned that we would not get a wristband, but we joined the end regardless, and stood there waiting... and of course, it started to rain. Once the queue started moving, we only had to wait about another 45 mins before we got ours...... aaaaannnd relax. The friendly security guards gave us our numbered wristband, and directed is to return at about 1:30pm, and that they would not be allowing us access to the red carpet until 3pm, so we had a few hours to kill.
By this time, the rain was pretty heavy, so we walked up to Covent Garden where we got a lovely breakfast at Tuttons. We spent the next few hours looking around the Garden, and hopping in and out of coffee bars, and pubs to dry off and get warm.
At the appointed time, we returned to the Theatre Royal, and commenced queueing ... again. At 3pm they started letting us up to the barriers in number order. Unfortunately, there were 250 people ahead of us, so we didnt get a front row spot as I had hoped. To make matters worse we seemed to be surrounded by autograph hounds, the kind that get celebrity autographs just to sell on - make a quick buck. They guarded their positions fiercely, and basically made it impossible for genuinely interested fans to get close to their heroes.
Mr Madnad and I tried to remain as positive as we could, and waited for another hour or so, before the first star arrived.
To Be Continued in Part 2.
I had no idea who would be attending when I made this decision, although of course, I was hoping that Michael Sheen would attend, as I knew he had presented an award the previous year. Shortly after, the 'long list' of nominees was released, and I could barely contain my excitement to discover his name was listed. However, disappointment abounded when the 'short list' was finally released, and his name was sadly omitted.
Oh well - the train tickets were bought, time booked off work, and the hotel reserved. I hoped that he would still attend, but never the less, there would be plenty of other actors for me to ogle.
A few days prior to the event, I discovered that the day we were due to travel to London, James Purefoy would be appearing at the Forbidden Planet on Shaftesbury Avenue, for a signing to promote his latest movie Solomon Kane.
It was an opportunity too good to miss. Mr Madnad had already expressed a desire to go to Forbidden Planet, which I hadnt objected too but wasnt quiet as excited as him, but this news made the whole idea sound far more tempting.
When we arrived there was only a small queue, so we tagged ourselves onto the end. Would you believe it - 10 mins after we joined the queue, a guy came along and stuck a camera in our faces. 'EEK!' I cried, and immediately declined the kind offer to say a few words about Solomon Kane. Mr Madnad however, was willing to give it a go.
Yes, he is the guy with the red hair.
That excitement over, we continued to await our turn to see the Purejoy (as he is known in our house).
My copy of the Official Movie companion held tightly in my sweaty little mits, I finally got to the front of the queue. I sheepishly handed it over to James, who signed it with a smile, and kindly agreed when I asked if I could take a picture. He put on his best 'smoulder', as you can see from the picture below. Ladies, I dont know what it is that he has, but it exudes off him in bucket loads. It certainly had me dumbstruck. Desperate to say something quick, and witty, I only managed to mumble a thank you and shuffled off. Naturally, the further away from Forbidden Planet, the more ideas I had. 'Oh, I should have said... ' etc etc.
We had a good browse around the book section, and manage to walk out with only 3 books - which for us, was pretty good.
We checked into the hotel and had a couple of hours taking it easy reading in our room, then went out for a walk and to grab some dinner. Our hotel was not far from Russell Square so there was plenty of restaurants around but in the end we plumped for something reasonably familiar and went with Pizza Express.
After dinner we headed to a nearby pub and stopped off for a drink. We didnt exactly paint the town red, but we had gotten up pretty early that morning, and knew that we had a long day tomorrow and so decided an early night was probably a good idea.
The hotel we had chosen was based on location, and cheapness. After the first few hours on a bed that had the thinnest mattress and was sat on floorboards that sloped upwards, and listening to the traffic that sounded like it was only a foot away, driving by the single glazed windows, I decided that it had been a bad move. At 6:30am, after a sleepless night for the both of us, we got up and dragged our tired asses down to the Theatre Royal to collect our wristbands.
We got there just before 8am and was surprised at the number of people already queuing, in fact several were in tents and sleeping bags - quite obviously having been there ALL NIGHT!!! I admit, I was concerned that we would not get a wristband, but we joined the end regardless, and stood there waiting... and of course, it started to rain. Once the queue started moving, we only had to wait about another 45 mins before we got ours...... aaaaannnd relax. The friendly security guards gave us our numbered wristband, and directed is to return at about 1:30pm, and that they would not be allowing us access to the red carpet until 3pm, so we had a few hours to kill.
By this time, the rain was pretty heavy, so we walked up to Covent Garden where we got a lovely breakfast at Tuttons. We spent the next few hours looking around the Garden, and hopping in and out of coffee bars, and pubs to dry off and get warm.
At the appointed time, we returned to the Theatre Royal, and commenced queueing ... again. At 3pm they started letting us up to the barriers in number order. Unfortunately, there were 250 people ahead of us, so we didnt get a front row spot as I had hoped. To make matters worse we seemed to be surrounded by autograph hounds, the kind that get celebrity autographs just to sell on - make a quick buck. They guarded their positions fiercely, and basically made it impossible for genuinely interested fans to get close to their heroes.
Mr Madnad and I tried to remain as positive as we could, and waited for another hour or so, before the first star arrived.
To Be Continued in Part 2.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
A 100 Reasons why I HATE Twilight.
Actually, there is only 10, but I figured a 100 would get your attention. I am sure if I could be arsed to read more than the first two books I would probably make it to a 100 no worries. Do feel free to add your own in the comments.
I also realise I have ranted about this subject before, and that what I might be doing is engendering you with an overwhelming desire to read it (if you haven't already) just out of curiosity, but I am just sick and tired of it just taking over everything.
My inbox keeps filling up with supposed Michael Sheen google alerts. I open them excitedly, only to find old news relating to him being regurgitated by the endless stream of Twilight fan sites. Not surprisingly, most of the fans had no idea who Michael Sheen was prior to his (lamented) appearance as Aro in New Moon, and so I am subjected to constant remarks of surprise when they find him in something else – did they seriously think this was his first real job? All the others cast members were obviously hired because of their looks, (apart from Robert Pattinson who is actually an okay actor but not very braw – casting director must have been drunk that day). I think Michael was hired simply to give this one some much needed gravitas. On set, I imagine all the others watching Michael do his scenes thinking ‘wow – is that what real acting looks like – it looks hard’.
More evidence of Twilights pervasive nature is for example Entertainment sites, where I would once would get information about the latest project of celebrity A or B, have basically become Twilight obsessees, and report on the dullness that is ‘OMG Kirsten Stewart has been spotted getting a coffee somewhere’... who gives a flying fuck?
Granted, the books are quite addictive (some additive in the paper has been suggested) but I think that is because the tantalizing preface gives us the impression something really exciting is going to happen, but it kinda doesn't. During most of the climax of the first book, Bella is unconscious and so we miss out on all the action. Lazy writing?
They are in a rough ascending order, the one I feel most strongly about being no. 1. Let me count the ways...
10. It seems to me that ultimately, this book is a great big fat 'Mary Sue' - a book primarily functioning as wish-fulfilment fantasy for the author. Not always a bad thing, but so blatant in this book - particularly due to her obvious recreation of her mormonistic views towards sex before marriage, and de-fanged vampires.
9. The fans - I have to say, one of the things I find most repulsive (scary) about the books is the high level of hysterical obsession, it elicits from the fans. The books have such a hold over them. Why they fall for this poor quality pseudo-romance is beyond me. They are fiercely loyal, a trait I would normally admire, but to the point where they will form a witch hunt against any nay-sayers. Dear reader, I am taking my life in my hands by publishing this blog! It is not a romance - it is an obsessive crush based purely on (in Bella's case) ethereal good looks and that he sparkles, and (in Edward's case) because she smells nice. Not her wit or intelligence, or her humour or humanity, oh no… her scent. This kind of love does not exist, not to be called love anyway. One of many false ideals this book portrays.
8. Is it just me that finds it a bit paedo-creepy Edward is like a 100 years older than Bella? Or, to look at it another way, why would someone with the life experience he must have at 100+ years, entertain the idea of a romance with a teenager.
7. Badly written. There are holes in the plot the size of the O2 stadium. The book is also meant to be told from the perspective of a 17 year old girl, yet the internal dialogue is of someone MUCH older. Maybe this is a ploy by the author to signify that Bella is more mature than her age... but for me it is just too forced. It is not very well written, and it seems like the author went through the first draft with a thesaurus in hand, and put in as many 'big words' as possible, rather than ones actually used in common parlance.
6. No touching. No kissing. And definitely No Sex. Just lots of frustrating angst. Bella's scent is apparently just so intoxicating that Edwards fears he will lose control. This ties in with the first book's cover showing a women holding an apple in her hands - the symbology is quite clear. Women are evil and hold temptation in their hands.
5. Everyone is so nauseatingly beautiful, with perfect hair, and luscious lips, and alabaster skin. Another false ideal, and impossible goal for teens uncomfortable with their changing bodies to aspire to
4. The Vampires are effete vegetarians with a tortured soul... and they sparkle. VAMPIRES DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE (see a previous post - Vampires...Have they wussed out?. Also, I have to say something about the fact they refer to other fantasy characters in this series - ie werewolves. I know my friends at Werewolf News would not forgive me if I didn't point out that THEY ARE NOT REAL WEREWOLFS. I do believe that this is actually straightened out in a later book where is clearly states they are shape-shifters…but still.
3. Edward - This character is probably the most popular with the largely young, female audience, but I find him the most loathsome of all. He is so manipulative of Bella. He controls their relationship from the start, to the point where Bella - even when confessing her love for him to herself - is almost resigned to the fact, as if it wasn't her decision. He is attracted to Bella based purely on her scent, and behaves quite appallingly towards any other males that are (surprisingly) interested in Bella for reasons far more normal. He is jealous, and controlling. He decides when they take the relationship to the next level, he decides that he should perhaps leave as she is just too darn irresistible.... when does Bella get to have her say?
2. Bella - It terrifies me that girls as young as 8 or 9 are reading these books, and have Bella as a role model. She starts off a regular teenager, slightly introverted, reasonably intelligent, averagely good looking, not athletic in anyway, in fact extremely clumsy (to the point where she is a hazard to herself). Then she meets Edward, and becomes a spineless, weak willed, obsessive, who follows Edward around like a love sick puppy. She practically gives up on life when he leaves her, and becomes a ghost (see point 1). It is also made quite acceptable for her to lie to her family and ignore her friends in order to keep this love of hers.
1. Its ultimate sin is the portrayal of women, particularly the lead female, as some kind of weak-without-a-man creature who needs to be told what to do and is incapable of existing, or giving any value to themselves, without one in their life. Now, I realise that Twi-Tards (should they deign to stop by this blog) will defend it to the death. Don't bother - I have heard all your arguments. Supposedly, the story takes us back to a time where it was very important to be liked by a boy, and the feelings of first love, and how you just want a boy to obsess about you. It is just a fantasy so why should it live up to a feminist ideal? I don't think it is a 'feminist ideal' to not want our sisters, daughters and nieces to be exposed to something that is so dangerous. Don't forget Twi-Tards - that it is thanks to the feminists of previous generations that YOU are able to buy a book, by a FEMALE author, with your OWN MONEY, to read in your SPARE TIME, and that your biggest complaint in life is that someone on the internet doesn't like your favourite book.
I realise this work is considered a 'genre' piece, but because of this it does not mean that it must purely entertain, and does not exclude it from having a meaning beyond entertainment. This book is being read by (mostly) girls of an age that have yet to form opinions about love, life and themselves, and so is influencing them in a way that women of previous generations were not influenced. Yes, we had our fantasies growing up, but they were just in our heads - they were never realised into print, or the big screen to the same degree as the Twilight Saga, which serves to reinforce them to levels previously unknown.
I genuinely believe that most teens will grow out of this, and hopefully will come out the other side reasonably unscathed. There will be a few unhappy souls however, that will 'become' Bella. That will be made to feel that it is okay to have your self-worth hinge on whether someone 'loves' you or not, and lose any self respect in order to keep 'their man'. There will also be those who spend many lonely days wistfully dreaming and waiting for their very own 'Edward' when unfortunately, impossibly good looking 100 year old immature vegetarian vampires don't exist. Sadly, controlling, manipulative and obsessive men do and they are out there looking for Bellas.
I also realise I have ranted about this subject before, and that what I might be doing is engendering you with an overwhelming desire to read it (if you haven't already) just out of curiosity, but I am just sick and tired of it just taking over everything.
My inbox keeps filling up with supposed Michael Sheen google alerts. I open them excitedly, only to find old news relating to him being regurgitated by the endless stream of Twilight fan sites. Not surprisingly, most of the fans had no idea who Michael Sheen was prior to his (lamented) appearance as Aro in New Moon, and so I am subjected to constant remarks of surprise when they find him in something else – did they seriously think this was his first real job? All the others cast members were obviously hired because of their looks, (apart from Robert Pattinson who is actually an okay actor but not very braw – casting director must have been drunk that day). I think Michael was hired simply to give this one some much needed gravitas. On set, I imagine all the others watching Michael do his scenes thinking ‘wow – is that what real acting looks like – it looks hard’.
More evidence of Twilights pervasive nature is for example Entertainment sites, where I would once would get information about the latest project of celebrity A or B, have basically become Twilight obsessees, and report on the dullness that is ‘OMG Kirsten Stewart has been spotted getting a coffee somewhere’... who gives a flying fuck?
Granted, the books are quite addictive (some additive in the paper has been suggested) but I think that is because the tantalizing preface gives us the impression something really exciting is going to happen, but it kinda doesn't. During most of the climax of the first book, Bella is unconscious and so we miss out on all the action. Lazy writing?
They are in a rough ascending order, the one I feel most strongly about being no. 1. Let me count the ways...
10. It seems to me that ultimately, this book is a great big fat 'Mary Sue' - a book primarily functioning as wish-fulfilment fantasy for the author. Not always a bad thing, but so blatant in this book - particularly due to her obvious recreation of her mormonistic views towards sex before marriage, and de-fanged vampires.
9. The fans - I have to say, one of the things I find most repulsive (scary) about the books is the high level of hysterical obsession, it elicits from the fans. The books have such a hold over them. Why they fall for this poor quality pseudo-romance is beyond me. They are fiercely loyal, a trait I would normally admire, but to the point where they will form a witch hunt against any nay-sayers. Dear reader, I am taking my life in my hands by publishing this blog! It is not a romance - it is an obsessive crush based purely on (in Bella's case) ethereal good looks and that he sparkles, and (in Edward's case) because she smells nice. Not her wit or intelligence, or her humour or humanity, oh no… her scent. This kind of love does not exist, not to be called love anyway. One of many false ideals this book portrays.
8. Is it just me that finds it a bit paedo-creepy Edward is like a 100 years older than Bella? Or, to look at it another way, why would someone with the life experience he must have at 100+ years, entertain the idea of a romance with a teenager.
7. Badly written. There are holes in the plot the size of the O2 stadium. The book is also meant to be told from the perspective of a 17 year old girl, yet the internal dialogue is of someone MUCH older. Maybe this is a ploy by the author to signify that Bella is more mature than her age... but for me it is just too forced. It is not very well written, and it seems like the author went through the first draft with a thesaurus in hand, and put in as many 'big words' as possible, rather than ones actually used in common parlance.
6. No touching. No kissing. And definitely No Sex. Just lots of frustrating angst. Bella's scent is apparently just so intoxicating that Edwards fears he will lose control. This ties in with the first book's cover showing a women holding an apple in her hands - the symbology is quite clear. Women are evil and hold temptation in their hands.
5. Everyone is so nauseatingly beautiful, with perfect hair, and luscious lips, and alabaster skin. Another false ideal, and impossible goal for teens uncomfortable with their changing bodies to aspire to
4. The Vampires are effete vegetarians with a tortured soul... and they sparkle. VAMPIRES DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE (see a previous post - Vampires...Have they wussed out?. Also, I have to say something about the fact they refer to other fantasy characters in this series - ie werewolves. I know my friends at Werewolf News would not forgive me if I didn't point out that THEY ARE NOT REAL WEREWOLFS. I do believe that this is actually straightened out in a later book where is clearly states they are shape-shifters…but still.
3. Edward - This character is probably the most popular with the largely young, female audience, but I find him the most loathsome of all. He is so manipulative of Bella. He controls their relationship from the start, to the point where Bella - even when confessing her love for him to herself - is almost resigned to the fact, as if it wasn't her decision. He is attracted to Bella based purely on her scent, and behaves quite appallingly towards any other males that are (surprisingly) interested in Bella for reasons far more normal. He is jealous, and controlling. He decides when they take the relationship to the next level, he decides that he should perhaps leave as she is just too darn irresistible.... when does Bella get to have her say?
2. Bella - It terrifies me that girls as young as 8 or 9 are reading these books, and have Bella as a role model. She starts off a regular teenager, slightly introverted, reasonably intelligent, averagely good looking, not athletic in anyway, in fact extremely clumsy (to the point where she is a hazard to herself). Then she meets Edward, and becomes a spineless, weak willed, obsessive, who follows Edward around like a love sick puppy. She practically gives up on life when he leaves her, and becomes a ghost (see point 1). It is also made quite acceptable for her to lie to her family and ignore her friends in order to keep this love of hers.
1. Its ultimate sin is the portrayal of women, particularly the lead female, as some kind of weak-without-a-man creature who needs to be told what to do and is incapable of existing, or giving any value to themselves, without one in their life. Now, I realise that Twi-Tards (should they deign to stop by this blog) will defend it to the death. Don't bother - I have heard all your arguments. Supposedly, the story takes us back to a time where it was very important to be liked by a boy, and the feelings of first love, and how you just want a boy to obsess about you. It is just a fantasy so why should it live up to a feminist ideal? I don't think it is a 'feminist ideal' to not want our sisters, daughters and nieces to be exposed to something that is so dangerous. Don't forget Twi-Tards - that it is thanks to the feminists of previous generations that YOU are able to buy a book, by a FEMALE author, with your OWN MONEY, to read in your SPARE TIME, and that your biggest complaint in life is that someone on the internet doesn't like your favourite book.
I realise this work is considered a 'genre' piece, but because of this it does not mean that it must purely entertain, and does not exclude it from having a meaning beyond entertainment. This book is being read by (mostly) girls of an age that have yet to form opinions about love, life and themselves, and so is influencing them in a way that women of previous generations were not influenced. Yes, we had our fantasies growing up, but they were just in our heads - they were never realised into print, or the big screen to the same degree as the Twilight Saga, which serves to reinforce them to levels previously unknown.
I genuinely believe that most teens will grow out of this, and hopefully will come out the other side reasonably unscathed. There will be a few unhappy souls however, that will 'become' Bella. That will be made to feel that it is okay to have your self-worth hinge on whether someone 'loves' you or not, and lose any self respect in order to keep 'their man'. There will also be those who spend many lonely days wistfully dreaming and waiting for their very own 'Edward' when unfortunately, impossibly good looking 100 year old immature vegetarian vampires don't exist. Sadly, controlling, manipulative and obsessive men do and they are out there looking for Bellas.
Friday, 20 November 2009
Michael Sheen no longer a twitterer
So, our man Michael Sheen has confirmed that he has left twitter, for the time being at least. After toying with the idea for sometime, I have taken the decision to remove his twitter feed from the front of the site.
I must confess, I am devastated at the news but at the same time, appalled at the criticism that he has received on twitter from so called fans.
When I started following Michael Sheen on twitter, he had less than 50 followers. At the time, I had been getting increasingly frustrated at a fake Michael Sheen for ignoring everyone's pleas to prove his identity. It just didn't ring true. The posts did not have his (sometimes) surreal sense of humor or his eloquent speech. As much as I yearned for it to be him - I knew in my heart that it wasn't. When Michael started posting it was easy for someone like me - who has watched his video interviews far too many times, and read all the press interviews until I practically know them word for word - to spot the real deal.
I would have been more than happy just to have an opportunity to read his posts, to hear his thoughts and comments. I consider us all very fortunate that he took some of his precious free-time from his busy schedule to actually reply to a lucky few.
I have listened to the interview with Simon Mayo a few times now, where he gives his reasons for his absence. The first reason he gives, and he has mentioned this in other interviews such as the Tavis Smiley show, is that he has a tendency towards narcissism. He is a man who is willing to admit his flaws, not just to himself but to others which should be applauded in my book. I can easily imagine that there would be a danger of a greatly inflated ego if you are being told by almost 60'000 people everyday how wonderful you are. I actually find it quite endearing, and am grateful that he has taken this precaution as I would hate for him to become as arrogant and conceited as a lot of his colleagues in the industry appear to be. His modesty is one of the things that I find most appealing about him.
He also mentions the fact that the press had gate crashed our little party and spoiled the intimacy of the relationship between him and his fans by basically regurgitating his tweets... along with a few embellishments.
He was then asked if he is missing twitter, and he agreed that he was, which means that at some level he is missing the interaction he had with his fans.
His final comment, which is the one that I gather has upset a few of his fans, was that he it now means that he has time to spend with his 'real friends'. Some people I believe have taken this 'real friend' comment as a bit of a slap in the face, as if it was meant as an insult. I actually think quite the opposite.
I am convinced that if Michael knew that he had upset his fans by this comment he would be devastated. I personally think that the reason he made the distinction was to mean his 'real life' friends as opposed to on-line friends.
Although, lets face it, none of us can really consider ourselves his friends so why should the comment upset anyone. Just because he has exchanged a handful of tweets with us does not mean we are his friends. To me, the definition of a 'real friend' is someone who I know in real life, and have met on many occassions and have a mutual love and respect for, or with online friends - at the very least shared long and heart felt conversations.
What I am trying to say is we loved him before he was on twitter so why should him leaving make us love him even less? We should look back and cherish the time he was there as the special perk that it was, and although we may not have the direct conduit that we used to have, we can still show our love and support for Michael and his career the way we always have done - by going to the cinema and the theatre to see him perform, by buying the DVD's, by using his characters as inspiration for art and fiction, and by trying to convert every female that we know into appreciating his considerably talents!!!
Anyway.... I am off now to cry into a large oversized pillow *sob*.
I must confess, I am devastated at the news but at the same time, appalled at the criticism that he has received on twitter from so called fans.
When I started following Michael Sheen on twitter, he had less than 50 followers. At the time, I had been getting increasingly frustrated at a fake Michael Sheen for ignoring everyone's pleas to prove his identity. It just didn't ring true. The posts did not have his (sometimes) surreal sense of humor or his eloquent speech. As much as I yearned for it to be him - I knew in my heart that it wasn't. When Michael started posting it was easy for someone like me - who has watched his video interviews far too many times, and read all the press interviews until I practically know them word for word - to spot the real deal.
I would have been more than happy just to have an opportunity to read his posts, to hear his thoughts and comments. I consider us all very fortunate that he took some of his precious free-time from his busy schedule to actually reply to a lucky few.
I have listened to the interview with Simon Mayo a few times now, where he gives his reasons for his absence. The first reason he gives, and he has mentioned this in other interviews such as the Tavis Smiley show, is that he has a tendency towards narcissism. He is a man who is willing to admit his flaws, not just to himself but to others which should be applauded in my book. I can easily imagine that there would be a danger of a greatly inflated ego if you are being told by almost 60'000 people everyday how wonderful you are. I actually find it quite endearing, and am grateful that he has taken this precaution as I would hate for him to become as arrogant and conceited as a lot of his colleagues in the industry appear to be. His modesty is one of the things that I find most appealing about him.
He also mentions the fact that the press had gate crashed our little party and spoiled the intimacy of the relationship between him and his fans by basically regurgitating his tweets... along with a few embellishments.
He was then asked if he is missing twitter, and he agreed that he was, which means that at some level he is missing the interaction he had with his fans.
His final comment, which is the one that I gather has upset a few of his fans, was that he it now means that he has time to spend with his 'real friends'. Some people I believe have taken this 'real friend' comment as a bit of a slap in the face, as if it was meant as an insult. I actually think quite the opposite.
I am convinced that if Michael knew that he had upset his fans by this comment he would be devastated. I personally think that the reason he made the distinction was to mean his 'real life' friends as opposed to on-line friends.
Although, lets face it, none of us can really consider ourselves his friends so why should the comment upset anyone. Just because he has exchanged a handful of tweets with us does not mean we are his friends. To me, the definition of a 'real friend' is someone who I know in real life, and have met on many occassions and have a mutual love and respect for, or with online friends - at the very least shared long and heart felt conversations.
What I am trying to say is we loved him before he was on twitter so why should him leaving make us love him even less? We should look back and cherish the time he was there as the special perk that it was, and although we may not have the direct conduit that we used to have, we can still show our love and support for Michael and his career the way we always have done - by going to the cinema and the theatre to see him perform, by buying the DVD's, by using his characters as inspiration for art and fiction, and by trying to convert every female that we know into appreciating his considerably talents!!!
Anyway.... I am off now to cry into a large oversized pillow *sob*.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Sheffield – A Reverie
Part of my job here at the sunny University of Nottingham, is to organise workshops, conferences, that sort of thing. I am in the process of setting one up for November and it will be held in Sheffield.
I grew up in Sheffield. Lived in Hillsborough for a while, and went to infant school there. My family moved when I went up to Junior school, so I went to Parson's Cross, and then onto Chaucer Comprehensive.
I have never really felt any romantic need to reminisce about Sheffield before, in fact, when I moved away at 16, I actually felt it was a good thing. It seemed to me at the time, what with the increased unemployment and the general degeneration of the city centre, that it was a dying city. Sure, I would have liked to have stayed a little longer - I wanted to go to college with my friends (family dictated that I move to Skegness with them after my step-father was made redundant). Even if I had stayed for college, I knew that I would not have made a career or home there. Compared to other cities at the time (circa 1986/7) I felt Sheffield was dirty, and run down, which thinking about it now, with the eyes of an adult, it probably was.
I haven't really been back to Sheffield since about 1989. I understand in that 20 years, there has been many changes. I have heard over the last few years that the local authorities have made an effort to revamp Sheffield and improve its appearance and reputation. It now has a tram system, and a couple of Universities (they were only polytechnics when I was there).
I don't remember a whole lot about my time there, as I had literally just finished high school when we moved, but there are a few lasting memories.
The Sheffield Show - most large cities and towns have an annual fete or show at some point during the summer. I remember going there as a kid, and wandering past all the stands and being give free stuff! Admittedly, a lot of this stuff was publicity and promotional items such as a pen, or hat or key ring sporting the logo of some local firm. They used to have fair ground rides and a there was a display area that had the local dance/karate/scouts club or whatever doing some demo. There was a stage too, run by the local station Radio Hallam. I remember one year being quite impressed they had Showaddywaddy on. Okay - I was only about 8 at the time!
Peace Gardens – Never really knew why they were called that. It was a great place to have a seat and some lunch in between all the busy hanging out and chatting with pals.
Rebels / The Wappentake – During my high school years – I discovered ROCK!!! I fell in love with rock music, particularly of the heavy metal/punk/Goth variety. Two of the coolest places to hang out if you like rock or alternative music was the Wappentake (or just the Wap to its friends) and then onto the Rebels nightclub. Now, I was never really old enough to go into the Wappentake. I tried to once, with some friend – all of whom were younger than me – and I was the one that got kicked out. The gift of looking younger than my true age that I treasure now, I hated back then.
Rebels however, were not nearly as scrupulous about the whole age thing, and so in the last year of highschool I was a fairly regular visitor to said establishment. It was a dark and dingy club with one bar and a sticky floor. The seating round the edge of the room was interspersed with the occasional speaker which meant that the whole thing vibrated. You had to climb several flights of stairs to get in, then bought your ticket (for a whole £1 if I remember rightly) then immediately turned to your left and handed it to the guy on the door who threaded it onto a string. There was also a tv high in a corner that showed videos of Power Hour – a late night rock show. When I went, it was the height of NWOBHM and bands like Def Leppard were kings, so a sea of denim and leather greeted you as you walked in. There was also the cock rock queens – fans of Bon Jovi et al, and your thrashers in their Bermuda shorts a la Anthrax. The strange and exotic goth girls with their crimped hair and lacy collars – what I desperately wanted to be – but I usually went in jeans and a t-shirt as I had told my mom that I was just spending the night at a friends.
The Hole In The Road – or as it it officially known – Castle Square. This was, to a young child, a strange and magical labyrinth. It was built as a means of pedestrians being able to navigate from one busy shopping street to another, avoiding the dangers of the traffic above. You would descend an escalator and then walk through the hole, the top of which was open to the sky, and ascend up to your desired destination. I don't know how many times I attempted this but never seemed to get the right set of stairs the first time. There was a few department stores above that had display windows round the edge, but the thing I remember most is the fish tank. There was a large fish tank embedded into the wall on one side and was always a great meeting point for friends or lovers.
In the later 80s it fell into disrepair, with damaged lighting, graffiti, and general refuse – it became a muggers paradise. Sadly, in the mid 90s, they filled it in. I do think that this was a big mistake and that the council could have found another way to have the tram navigate the city centre, and instead spent some cash renovating it, repairing the paving stones and creaky escalators. It was a unique feature of Sheffield and the city and its residents are the poorer without it.
Anyway, come November, I will hopefully get a chance to have a quick nosey around and will report back.
Friday, 14 August 2009
Vampires... Have they wussed out?
Yes, I know it has been a while. Meh... I figured I would come back eventually when I had something to say.
I have something I wanted to get off my chests. There has been a lot of talk recently in the sci fi/fantasy/horror media, that Vampires have wimped out. I think, looking at the evidence, they may be right.
When I was young, I eagerly devoured as many horror books as I could get my mits on without the parental units noticing. Back then, the vampire was a thing of horror. They were a veritable creature of the night, and a true Prince of Darkness. Books like Dracula, Pan Book of Horror, and the many Hammer films starring the enigmatic Christopher Lee, or the strange atmospheric Nosferatu were the staple reading/viewing of my youth. Of course, I also had a soft spot for the werewolves and mummies etc. too ... but the vampire always fascinated and drew me in, while at the same time, made me afraid of the strange shadows cast by the Star Wars curtains in my room as the street light shone through from outside.
I have something I wanted to get off my chests. There has been a lot of talk recently in the sci fi/fantasy/horror media, that Vampires have wimped out. I think, looking at the evidence, they may be right.
When I was young, I eagerly devoured as many horror books as I could get my mits on without the parental units noticing. Back then, the vampire was a thing of horror. They were a veritable creature of the night, and a true Prince of Darkness. Books like Dracula, Pan Book of Horror, and the many Hammer films starring the enigmatic Christopher Lee, or the strange atmospheric Nosferatu were the staple reading/viewing of my youth. Of course, I also had a soft spot for the werewolves and mummies etc. too ... but the vampire always fascinated and drew me in, while at the same time, made me afraid of the strange shadows cast by the Star Wars curtains in my room as the street light shone through from outside.
What drew me to the vampire I think, was the fact that even though they were a monster, they looked human, and could pass for human quite convincingly. They did not have our fear of death or disease. They had a freedom from the rat race and did not have the same petty concerns that rule most adult's lives. They were more often than not wealthy, and lived a life of luxury and darkness. The Victorian vampire epitomised hedonism. The sting in the tail, the horror, came from their animalistic, all encompassing hunger - their need to feed on the blood of humans. While on the one hand I would like to romanticise that I could consider humans as little more than cattle, but any truly non-psychotic person finds the thought of taking a human life – even for sustenance - as abhorent.
Then... along came Ann Rice. Along came her vampires who were troubled, and tormented by their nature, and resorted to feeding from animals. We sympothised and empathised with them. The Lost Boys made them a bit rock n roll, but ultimately little more than misunderstood boys looking for a mothers love. The vampire was further defanged by Buffy the Vampire slayer, who actually turned out to be more of a vampire layer. Her vampire beau had a soul, and fought evil in order to redeem himself for all the death & destruction he caused during his long. He got his nutrition from stolen donations from the blood bank.
The vampires in the Underworld franchise had all the poise and grace that wannabe Vamps/Goths imagine a vampire to be, and I had hoped that they would prove to be the comeback that vampires needed, but they got their asses handed to them on a plate by the werewolves…
This trend continued with books like Anita Blake Vampire Hunter and all its copycats. The final nail in the coffin is the Twilight series. I tried… I really did try to like this series but there are so many faults with them, some previously discussed in this blog. The thing that grinds my gears the most is the vamps of the Twilight-verse are nothing more than sparkly vegetarians. It is quite laughable really. Talk about watered down. Not real vampires in my opinion.
There have been a few glimmers of hope. Let The Right One In for instance was heading in the right direction, although I am horrified to hear that they are making a US version – for audiences to lazy/ignorant to be bothered reading subtitles. This will of course be an inferior offering because of it. The graphic novel world has tried to stay faithful. If you like gory you could check out 30 Days of Night.
This examination began when I heard Neil Gaiman proposed that vampires go underground for a couple years and re-emerge as something different. I quite agree Neil. Go away you sparkly tortured souls, and make room for the new Count Orlak, Dracula or Richard Straker.
Okay… rant over {/rant}
In other news, my tarantula Athena shed her skin yesterday. It is always a traumatic time for the spider and the owner. Thankfully, it all went swimmingly, and now she is all shiny and new. I have to wait a good 10-14 days for her exo-skeleton to harden and her innards to sort themselves out before I can feed her again, then it will be a rampage on locusts.
I have recently had one of my young nephew to stay overnight. He has been plaguing his mother & me for months to come to my house 'on holiday'. Mr Madnad & I picked him up from his mums on Saturday morning, and he was so excited he did not shut up for the first hour in the car. Constantly talking absolute drivel and finding it all hilarious, in that slightly manical and hysterical way kids can be when they are excited. He fell asleep for most of the rest of the way. Phew!
We took him to the castle for the rest of the afternoon but I think the thing he wanted to play with most was the sand pit - and this is a kid that lives on the coast. Back at mine, he got to beat my husband at wii bowling - and then got to top his own pizza. He all spent a good hour running up and down the garden ( in an effort to tire him out ). He was very good, and went to bed after his bath with no complaints or fuss. I look forward to his next stay.
Any of you that have had to tolerate me boring them about Michael Sheen will know that I am very excited at the recent news that he is to star in Tron 2. It has not been confirmed what role yet, but I am suspecting it will be the big bad replacing, or in a similar role, that David Warner held in the original film. This appeals to me on many levels as I loved the original and lurve Michael Sheen – so win win!
It also kind of makes up for him appearing in Twilight. *rolls eyes*
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